(No Ratings Yet)
Loading ...
How far can Ziemowit Szczerek’s tongue reach into an expat’s colon? Read his article and marvel at the elasticity of his Genioglossus, Styloglossus, Palatoglossus, Hyoglossus and Pharyngoglossus, whilst enduring the cruel, yet ironic evacuative effect on your digestive system!
Ziemowit Szczereck is a writer. Well, he has written stuff for various publications in the past, such as Lost in Krakow (the narcissist’s handbook), memusik.net (the narcissist’s website), tamizdat.com (a stagnant, yet noble offering), and the renowned interia.pl.
A few days ago, Ziemowit tested his wit, and our senses of humour with a remarkable, rambling offering that if written several decades prior, might have seen Hemingway commit suicide much earlier.
http://nt.interia.pl/newsroom/news/krew-w-transylwanskim-hostelu,1013411
A rough translation by our Polish sister: ‘Pumpkin Head’ reads as follows; her words are in bold, original text is in black:
First where did u find
this?????????????????????swojej loży szyderców (”Losers in
Krakow”). Szef tej ostatniej - notabene - w ocenie wielu ex-patów - przesadził w
szyderstwie i narobił sobie wrogów. Wyprowadził się więc z Krakowa. Pojechał
jeszcze dalej na Wschód - do Lwowa - i założył tam hostel.Means that expats have their own newspapers, and loży
szyderców - means people who make fun of sth in a very
ironic way so its about losers - how do they know????????????????Anyway
Szef
tej ostatniej - notabene - w ocenie wielu ex-patów - przesadził w szyderstwie i
narobił sobie wrogów. Wyprowadził się więc z Krakowa. Pojechał jeszcze dalej na
Wschód - do Lwowa - i założył tam hostel.The boss of this webpage - according to many expats- went too far,
and made lots of enemies.He moved out from cracow more on east to lvov, and
founded a hostel there.- Europa Wschodnia oddycha historią,
ciągle słychać tu jej echa - mówi Tim Chase, Amerykanin, muzyk, który już od
trzech lat mieszka w Krakowie. - Tutaj wszystko jest dość nieoczywiste i
nierzeczywiste, nawet jej granice wydają się iluzoryczne. Tej niesamowitości w
Europie Wschodniej jest mnóstwo, ale jeśli spytałbyś mnie o jakiś konkret - to
nie jestem w stanie go wskazać.This is *****(subject) bullshiting - eastern europe is not obvious, not real,
blablablaBasically its about the growing
interest in eastern europe, its culture, music, literature, of course there is a
big amount of drunk british, or sex oriented latin people, but eastern europe
has much to offerAnd about romania, Croatia etc
After translating this section of the text our assistant was unable to go on, such was the pious drivel that followed. Suffice to say, very little was learned by either party other than to reinforce the importance of this website.
Perhaps the Ziemowit would like to mention that he was a contributor for the now defunct ‘Lost in Krakow’ fanzine which lasted two months (because it was crap), and that he is personal friends with the founder?
Ziemnakiwit also shamelessly promotes the website ‘Middle Europe Musik’ which also (coincidentally) shamelessly promotes the founders own bands as well!: Urban Jellan Test and Eluktrik amongst others. Ziemowit the ‘eff-wit’ was also a contributor on this website too! Thanks for the transparency Zim-wit! We all thought you ‘hooked up’ with this/these guy/s randomly! Turns out you’ve been greasing their palms and oiling their gluteus maximus for some time!
Tell me fellow losers, what is the common theme here? Shamelessness? Bigotry? Insolence? Omniscience?
Journalistic ethics were non-existent at Lost in Krakow, and nor are they evident here within Ziemowit’s masterpiece. In fact, non-disclosure, conflict of interest, opaque morals, no sources and outright plagiarism seem to be accepted norms amongst this swelling crew of gormless turds. These bastards even steal single-ply toilet paper from Massolit (to write song lyrics mind you).
The thing about the expat ‘creative’ scene (and their slimy, web-toed hangers-on) which is so utterly repulsive, so shallow and so wide open to critique, is that it is 100% ego driven. This little clique of over sensitive, back-slapping sycophants, boost each other up onto false pedestals by attending each other’s concerts, commenting on each others works (exactly like this article by Ziemowit!) and rallying together against anyone who dares to question their output. It’s so incestuous it makes ‘The Aristocrats’ look like a aphephobe’s picnic.
None of these losers have ever made anything original, worthwhile or financially successful. When they do, mark my words, I’ll bare my buttocks in Plac Nowy; and allow all and sundry to pelt me with rotten tomatoes. Until then, the losers can keep freeloading, stealing and tax-dodging, in between plaintive emails home begging for just one more Western Union funded food ration.
Note: The L’viv hostel owner has not left Krakow at all. His heart is still in very much in Krakow and he returns regularly to drink Zoladkowa and smoke Cuban cigars at Kolory (whilst spitting on expatriate scum and their pathetic little bootlicking fluffers).
Jakob Creutzfeldt
PS: I’ve just bought an apartment in trendy, new, loser hangout Podgorze. You’re going to be seeing A LOT more of me, LOSERS!
losersinkrakow.com
Celebrating 8 months of existence!
Popularity: 34% [?]
Loading ...
December 2nd, 2007 at 6:22 pm
interesting
need a pat on the head? poor darlings. anyway i find it quite funny that you hate expats such as tim/thymn chase - particularly because he can actually speak polish and you need assistants to be able to understand any polish text. basically, you are the defining repulsive expats! you can’t even speak polish. hahahaha. i guess the losers in krakow website is just an alternative to cutting yourselves.
it seems the losers in krakow team is not capable of handling a little criticism
December 2nd, 2007 at 11:48 pm
EH?
hey! all publicity is good publicity! losers in krakow deserves to be attacked! buried! etc!
it’s creutzfeldt the mad maniac who can’t take criticism! ha ha!
but why do you presume losers "team" (that would be a rather classy name for this scattered crew of scoundrels) can’t speak polish?
December 2nd, 2007 at 11:50 pm
that is to say…
i mean it’s obvious creutzfeldt can’t speak polish, but you shouldn’t draw conclusions about the rest of the "team" (19 people involved, and counting)
December 3rd, 2007 at 1:31 am
Rebuttal
2/3 of the Loser team speak polish, due in large part to the fact that 1/3 of the team is Polish. Our readers may rest assured that the remainder of our staff will create polish familes of our own in our adopted country soon. Neither the Krakow Post, nor Lost in Krakow, MeMusic, or any other publication we critique allow discussion of their articles. Losers in Krakow does. We only moderate discussions on the basis of personal defamation. Most often I edit Creutzfeld than any anonymous contributors. That said, Losers in Krakow staff is made up of all losers; written exclusively by losers, for losers. We never made a claim otherwise and will gladly make derisive comments about anyone who disagrees with us. We wouldn’t have it any other way. We are the next evolution in journalism. Our forefathers felt that writing with integrity meant keeping their sources anonymous. We took the logical next step and made ourselves anonymous. For the benefit of our readers, for the benefit of ourselves.
December 3rd, 2007 at 9:46 am
Love Children
I believe the Losers "team" has already produced 13 Polish-expat Loser love children? Isn’t that the case? They’re doing their job!
December 3rd, 2007 at 10:34 am
don’t worry…
you’re not as anonymous as you think
December 3rd, 2007 at 10:42 am
REALLY????
Not anonymous! Wow how astonishing! In such a huge metropolis as Krakow… And how scary! Will the Losers team be hunted down and slaughtered?!?!?!
The anonymous thing is just another Losers gimmick, like all the other bullshit on this site!
December 3rd, 2007 at 10:52 am
Missing the point
Since when has being multi-lingual excused anyone from being a wanker?
This article is nothing to do with the comprehension of Polish. Perhaps you could address the suggestions raised regarding disclosure and journalistic ethics?
The points raised in the article above article are clearly and eloquently defined. You’re throwing a red-herring against an onslaught of crushing fact.
December 3rd, 2007 at 11:26 am
Thanks
Hi Losers.
Thanks for making me laugh.
I’ve met a lot of these people and you’re quite right. They suck. I’m kinda embarrassed to be in this city sometimes but I have to live here for another 5 months.
HRM
December 3rd, 2007 at 11:52 am
if losers in krakow was an expat band
then your pole to english speaker ratio would be as pathetic as fox gang’s. maybe urban yellen test at a stretch. hahahaha you’ve become what you hate! losers.
December 4th, 2007 at 4:32 pm
hmmmm…
what amazes me is that i’ve lived here for quite a while now, played music that has clearly irritated people intensely (i promise this was never an intention although it does give me some after-the-fact satisfaction), i guess i was part of this "scene" which you all bang on about relentlessly, and yet i don’t have a clue what the fuck you’re referring to half the time - e.g. lviv hostel owners, ziemowit, memusik, tamizdat??? who are these people - can you be a bit clearer? it’s not just in this article either. lost in krakow i do remember.
keep it the good work, though. you’ve got me hooked.
tom, ex-foxgang
btw, i wholeheartedly apologise for allowing a pole into fox gang, i don’t know how he slipped past the rigourous loser entrance exam.
December 4th, 2007 at 4:33 pm
keep _up_, obviously
!
December 4th, 2007 at 4:33 pm
keep _up_, obviously
!
December 18th, 2007 at 7:45 am
Dear HRM,
Dear HRM,
If you are hanging out with losers in this city blame yourself, not the city. Leave now. Or choose better people to hang with. If you cannot find better people then you must be spending too much time on this site.
GET A LIFE.
December 18th, 2007 at 7:54 am
Quit your sucking motion
Dear tom, ex-foxgang,
You wrote "i guess i was part of this "scene" which you all bang on about relentlessly, and yet i don’t have a clue what the fuck you’re referring to half the time"
By your comment you have shown you were NOT a part of the ’scene’ being talked about. Maybe it was your ridiculous desire to be accepted by the ironic louts you now pucker up to here at this site?
Give up, you are already tagged as a hanger on.
But if you desire you can still try to act ‘cool’ like the writers of this site. By the way, do you have anything to say other than "Hey! I’m cool too! I can be insulting too!"
Say something other than "can i play too?" And by the way, saying the opposite of what you mean isn’t anything but a crutch. Tell me what you think about something interesting or die a mediocre slave.
December 19th, 2007 at 12:21 am
huh?
come on now! do i know you?
i’m not sucking up to anyone as far as i know as i genuinely don’t know who writes this site. entering into the spirit is what i was trying to do..
generally, i appreciate what these guys are saying because i can totally see their target in myself (and the ex-pats i hang out with, or on to if you prefer), what i was trying to say here was that this article seems over the top, and that maybe there’s a little bit of a straw man thing going on with the whole "scene".
i’m far too old to have any delusions of coolness: my rock star days are behind me.
glad to get a reaction finally though!
t, xfg
December 19th, 2007 at 9:38 pm
LEAVE TOM ALONE
i sense some real bitterness here. someone is angry at tom. why? because he has a sense of humour? and why oh why do you readers think that the people who write stories at losers think that are "cool"? this has nothing to do with "coolness"…only spite… and envy… and… oh, was tom KICKED OUT of the band? is that why you guys are angry at him??? LEAVE HIM ALONE. WE ARE GOING TO OFFER HIM A JOB DELIVERING THE PRINTED VERSION OF LOSERS.
Editor’s Team.
December 19th, 2007 at 10:36 pm
GET OFF TOM’S BACK
Tom is like a little brother to us here. He’s just a kid and we won’t tolerate mud-raking just because he’s jumped ship….a ship sinking faster than the HMS Hood that is.
So, maybe he shouldn’t have divulged his real name; but as a reforming ex-expat wanker, we’ve cut him some slack.
Krakow’s loser community willing thrust their pale, slimy wrists into the shackles of Narcissism faster than a horny Baboon thrusts his lipstick-pink ovary tickler into the velvety, twitching, love-cylinder of his mate (see, we aren’t homophobic) and we are more than willing to give Tom time to adjust to his new surrounds. Tom is reborn! Rejoice!
Tom, we are with you the whole way.
Jakob
December 21st, 2007 at 9:06 am
LET IT ALL OUT, TOM…
TOM - we want to offer you a job not just as Losers newspaper deliverer, but also as coffee maker and Tartra beer buyer, at the local shop. We will also need you to roll our cigarettes. Tom, Tom, Tom, we admire the fact that you’ve realised you were on the wrong path. You are a shining example of how Losers can help turn expats around. We’re with you, man. If you have something to confess publicly, please do it here. Perhaps feelings of shame, for having been a member of Fox Gang? Revulsion? Tom, let it out, plenty of us have been there…
December 24th, 2007 at 1:47 am
boys
it’s really touching that you feel the need to fight it out over my soul like this. txfg