Losers in Krakow!

Mutinous Deported Losers Escape: 7 Missing

Last Friday in Gdansk, Poland’s major port city, a pregnant well wisher, 36 armed Interior Ministry Police and 23 Environmental Protection officials waved good bye to 47 losers who were willing participants in a scheme to rid Poland of its bloodsucking, expatriate, pseudo-artsy scum. In exchange for $30 US, a bottle of Wyborowa vodka and 7 [...]

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Statistics That ‘Mean’ a Whole Heap

'It's not you, it's me.' used to be a really weak and kinda' girly way to break up with a really annoying person; but in the age of having 492 social networking 'friends' it's time to say 'It's not me, it's you!'

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Educational Video For Expat Losers On How To Behave At Concerts - With Jack Nicholson

Many is the time we’ve been contacted by confused male expats who are trying to make it big in Krakow’s local band scene. They want to know one thing: how to deal with women. We can’t handle the barrage of mail and answer all of you individually, and so instead we’ve discovered an excellent education [...]

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“A Bucket Of Blood” To Be Remade By Losers In Krakow

Watch out Hollywood! Here comes Loserwood! Roger Cormon's cult classic "A Bucket Of Blood" - a 1950s satire on the Beatnik Generation - is to be remade in the cafes and bars of Krakow, entirely funded by Losers In Krakow. Believe it! Or not!

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Bright Expat Strikes It Rich With “Smart” Mobile Phone Invention For Alcohol-Addled Love Addicts

Several weeks ago Jim McBride, a local expat from Denver, was living on the smell of an oily rag. Behind in the rent, unable to afford even the cheapest Polish washing powder to wash his clothes by hand, picking up cigarette butts off the ground on Plac Nowy in Krakow’s “Jewish” district - McBride had [...]

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Anatomy of a Loser…

What is a loser? What is an artist? Better still Why is there a website dedicated to their mutual embarrassment? I think I better question to address is Why has travel become one of the favorite ways for people to articulate time? And quite possibly the most successful means of escape?

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New Horizons Open for Jaded Losers

As Ukraine steamrolls forward with its NATO and EU aspirations, one small Ukrainian village is trying a different tack to get that European feelin'

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Julia Roberts Moves To Krakow And Becomes Part Of Expat Scene

Shock! Julia has given up Hollywood and a life of stardom in order to hang out with Krakow hipster expats. She's even started her own band. But the cold weather, hand-rolled ciggies and cans of Tartra beer have already started taking their physical toll. Our paparazzi photographer Otto Von Scumbag snapped some secret shots when Julia was on her way to band practice. The before and after pics tell the whole story. Enough said. Poor thing.

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Measuring Success…

A university degree, a house, 2 cars, 2.5 kids, a dog or…. ….or a university degree, mould infested share accommodation, a 3 wheeled skateboard, a dead goldfish and reams of tri-chord chutzpa. How does the pseudo-artistic Converse clad conversation class expert measure personal success against the neo-classical pillars of Western achievement? As spring approaches, and the prosperous [...]

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DHudson leaves Losers, joins the Hare Krishnas

Leaving behind 400 pages of ramblings in what we can only assume is madness.

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